SinglesByChoice.com

Kay Trimberger has written an interesting article on the differences between the Indian and the U.S. women’s movements as it pertains to single women. Trimberger traveled earlier this year to India to attend a Women’s Studies conference in New Delhi. She used that opportunity to find out more about the Indian women’s movement, in particular why it fights for the rights of single women and tries to bring all single women together (”single, deserted and divorced women”). She writes:

Social structural differences in how single women relate to the institution of marriage might help explain why single women have been organized in India and not in the U.S. Yet, two insights I gained into differences between Anglo-American and Hindu culture in regard to marriage and singleness seem to me to best explain why the women’s movement in the U.S. has not yet recognized singleness as a problem.

Trimberger describes two key differences between the two movements:

1. There is no negative cultural image in India. Single women seem to be almost revered as having special powers for voluntarily submitting themselves to sexual abstinence. In contrast, in the U.S., “spinsters” are viewed rather negatively and the women’s movement created the expectation that women can do it all: Have a career, kids, and be married, too.
2. In the U.S., coupledom is portrayed as essential to happiness. Indian women do not face this “cultural legacy.”

Trimberger explains the second point:

Marriage in India is more highly valued, but its purpose is family ties, not coupled happiness. Compatibility between spouses is not linked to finding a soul mate, but is seen as the result of patient work, along with family support. Personal happiness has less cultural significance, and is not linked to being coupled.

India might offer us ways of moving beyond matrimania to a culture that values every individual no matter what their single status. Of course, Indian culture has its own prejudices and certainly the Indian women’s movement is fighting a lot of them. Trimberger mentions several of those issues. But discrimination of singles because of their single status does not seem to be one of them.

Linda brought to my attention an interview that Dr. Irene Levine did with Bella DePaulo about single women and friendship. Levine wrote a book about women and friendship - I will need to check that out! It sounds very interesting…

Singlism has been in the news quite a bit lately. Check out these articles:

• Being Single Isn’t What It’s Cracked Up to Be: The AARP chimes in
• Stop Singlism!: An article in Forbes
• The Unrecognized Stereotyping and Discrimination Against Singles: An article by Bella DePaulo and Wendy Morris

And the term made it into at least one online dictionary: The Double-Tongued Dictionary, which records undocumented or under-documented words from the fringes of English, with a focus on slang, jargon, and new words. It’s a start!

If you don’t feel like reading, you can listen to DePaulo here:

• Interview with Patt Morrison (it was on September 14, just search the page for “DePaulo”)
• Video clips about DePaulo and her research at Video Jug (note the box “Our Expert in…)

Please let us know if you run across any other articles by posting them in the comments (if you include more than 2 links, I will have to moderate your post, so it won’t show up right away). Also, please share your ideas for getting singlism into more dictionaries…

That is the title of an article written by Andrew Adam Newman for the New York Times’ New Year’s Eve edition. It profiles SingleEdition.com. As Newman puts it, this is a site “unlike dating sites that treat being single as a predicament, this one celebrates flying solo, and offers shopping, financial and other advice to help them do so with pride.” To read the whole article, wander over to here.